Hiiiiii,
In the last week I've been a bad monkey a few too many times...
but it was all so yummy!
and according to our slightly defective bathroom scale I have lost weight. so woohoo!
I didn't have an appt to check it and my inches last week because of the snow and my lack of 4wd. and it's already a half hour+ away without snow. nonetheless, i also am wearing my usual jeans asnd they're a bit loose. Whoe knows, i could have gaine 10 lbs of turkey belly, but i'm happy and haven't completly fallen off the band wagon!
I've had wine i think 3x in the last couple weeks. it was very yummy each time.
For Thanksgiving my parents came up from Oregon and we ate Irene's fabulous Italian -southern - etc food. it was YUMMMMY. she made baked gnocchi (kinda potato pasta) and cheese and some sweet potato stuff covered with pralines. ohhhh mama.
We've been out to eat a few times also, a bit more than normal, which i tend to not follow the rules quite as much then either. hey, it's just been a week or two of birthdays, holidays, and the hubby's re-enlistment today.
FYI,
cleo (9 y/o 100 lb choco lab) is GASSY today. poooot pooooot poot
her butt is talkative!
In other news, wednesday i have another checkup, so whoever reads this will have anoher wgt.
and i have 2 tests this week and finals next week. because of the crazy schedule last week this week is going to be interesting. i'm reallllly hoping the human bio professor doesn't spring a test on us tomorrow that we were supposed to do a week ago. she's a bit of a flake. who knows..
otay time for a walk with the dogs.
aloha
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
ok, it snowed
i just started some soup. i really do hope that it cooks before the power goes out, if it does. oh, it's definintely threatening to. by the way, ohhhh did it snow!
and ohhhhh, did the stupid people start driving!
if we can get off the hill we live on tomorrow without getting in an accident, i'll be getting my second (hopefully decreased) weigh-in! if not...well, who knows. then it will be thanksgiving. hmmm... turkeyyyy.
cheers all, and please, if your car has spun off the road, get AWAY from it. other cars are quite likely to spin out on the exact same spot.... and also quite possibly will hit your car. yeah, we took the poochies for a walk and stayed out for 3 hours helping the 6 or 8 cars and the school bus full of kids that spun out on our hill. the one injury was a lady that was hit after i had her and others scoot back away from the cars. i had gone to the house to drop the dogs off and upon coming back i hear that my husband had been the one to try to get her out of the way but she didn't comprehend the screaming to MOVE. she had been standing in the doorway of her car and another car spun out and hit the door, and somehow she hurt her arm. she was fine, but after an hour or so ended up calling the meat wagon and getting a ride to the hospital (seemed more like anxiety was getting the best of her since she had full movement so on, but nonetheless).
so seriously. get away from the car. snow and cars make spinning cars.
and spinning cars makes ouchies.
aloha!
and ohhhhh, did the stupid people start driving!
if we can get off the hill we live on tomorrow without getting in an accident, i'll be getting my second (hopefully decreased) weigh-in! if not...well, who knows. then it will be thanksgiving. hmmm... turkeyyyy.
cheers all, and please, if your car has spun off the road, get AWAY from it. other cars are quite likely to spin out on the exact same spot.... and also quite possibly will hit your car. yeah, we took the poochies for a walk and stayed out for 3 hours helping the 6 or 8 cars and the school bus full of kids that spun out on our hill. the one injury was a lady that was hit after i had her and others scoot back away from the cars. i had gone to the house to drop the dogs off and upon coming back i hear that my husband had been the one to try to get her out of the way but she didn't comprehend the screaming to MOVE. she had been standing in the doorway of her car and another car spun out and hit the door, and somehow she hurt her arm. she was fine, but after an hour or so ended up calling the meat wagon and getting a ride to the hospital (seemed more like anxiety was getting the best of her since she had full movement so on, but nonetheless).
so seriously. get away from the car. snow and cars make spinning cars.
and spinning cars makes ouchies.
aloha!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
will it snow?
They threatened it would snow this weekend... first it would be Saturday, then today, now it's in the middle of the night and all tomorrow. I wanna make a snow angel! I was on CNN's website and heard a report from my former crush of a news anchor, Rob Marciano. Back before CNN, he was in Portland. My teenage crush was on hot rob, not the hansen boys (arf, who would have a crush on these girlie boys?)
So this weekend i went to a friend's mary kay partay.... and i had VINOoooooooo.. and it was GOOD. Otherwise I've been pretty angelic, eating my meat and veggies! I might have screwed over the whole diet for a few days, but I hadn't drank any alcohol in nearly 2 weeks, and I felt like I deserved it. ohh sweet nectar of the vine...
One of the things I want to get bac into once i'm a bit smaller is roller derby. I jooined up for a while this summer and had mucho fun with exception of a couple things... 1. they were run with horriblw leadership and the people involved ddn't enjoy it. It reminded me way too quickly of the navy and their poor leadership, which was one of the biggest problems i had when i was in, and still deal wth it being married to a sailor. I havenot been back since a meeting which screamed bad organization. 2. I have a pain in my ass. specifically my left ass cheek. It hurrrts a dull ache cramp type of pain and no amount of stretching, muscle building, or antiinflammatories would decrease it. The only thing I can tie it to is the bne marrow biopsy i had a while back, which i had coincidentally not worked out for a couple months after, so maybe my muscle was injured? or the muscle/bone was injured becaus there was a big ass needle shoved in it? who knows. Otherwise, #3 reason is because this team meets @ 9 or 9:30 pm. seriously? i'm an old lady and need my sleep. We go to bed by 10ish every night.
anyway, on an urelated note, i'm about to go hang out with ireney and go to Pier 1!! i.love.that.store!
cheersies
So this weekend i went to a friend's mary kay partay.... and i had VINOoooooooo.. and it was GOOD. Otherwise I've been pretty angelic, eating my meat and veggies! I might have screwed over the whole diet for a few days, but I hadn't drank any alcohol in nearly 2 weeks, and I felt like I deserved it. ohh sweet nectar of the vine...
One of the things I want to get bac into once i'm a bit smaller is roller derby. I jooined up for a while this summer and had mucho fun with exception of a couple things... 1. they were run with horriblw leadership and the people involved ddn't enjoy it. It reminded me way too quickly of the navy and their poor leadership, which was one of the biggest problems i had when i was in, and still deal wth it being married to a sailor. I havenot been back since a meeting which screamed bad organization. 2. I have a pain in my ass. specifically my left ass cheek. It hurrrts a dull ache cramp type of pain and no amount of stretching, muscle building, or antiinflammatories would decrease it. The only thing I can tie it to is the bne marrow biopsy i had a while back, which i had coincidentally not worked out for a couple months after, so maybe my muscle was injured? or the muscle/bone was injured becaus there was a big ass needle shoved in it? who knows. Otherwise, #3 reason is because this team meets @ 9 or 9:30 pm. seriously? i'm an old lady and need my sleep. We go to bed by 10ish every night.
anyway, on an urelated note, i'm about to go hang out with ireney and go to Pier 1!! i.love.that.store!
cheersies
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
my report card is in!
I got my first "report card" today! take a wild guess why there's an exclamation mark!
I am down 3.4 lbs in a week! and random amounts of inches (ranging from 1/4 to 3 inches) on my arms, ass, legs, etc.
woot woot.
and speaking of report cards, my cutest nephew ever, Jared Christopher, got his first preschool report card today and he's a good little monkey! he's soooo cute, i just want to hug him! (but he's in another state so we'll have to settle for hugging the computer during a skype session for now)
I felt the love today. when i got home both my doggies were just jumping around and barking and just so damn cute. they (and my loving sweet hubby) make me feel good.
On a totally different note, i'm in pre-calc. and it's kicking my ass. today i think i finished 9 or so probs... innearly 2 hours. such a pain the arss!
anyway, aloha... time to do more homework!
I am down 3.4 lbs in a week! and random amounts of inches (ranging from 1/4 to 3 inches) on my arms, ass, legs, etc.
woot woot.
and speaking of report cards, my cutest nephew ever, Jared Christopher, got his first preschool report card today and he's a good little monkey! he's soooo cute, i just want to hug him! (but he's in another state so we'll have to settle for hugging the computer during a skype session for now)
I felt the love today. when i got home both my doggies were just jumping around and barking and just so damn cute. they (and my loving sweet hubby) make me feel good.
On a totally different note, i'm in pre-calc. and it's kicking my ass. today i think i finished 9 or so probs... innearly 2 hours. such a pain the arss!
anyway, aloha... time to do more homework!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
today's been a bit dysfunctional
let's start with this: if one is on a diet that makes ones stopped up, and is instructed to take laxatives if said stopped-up-ness occurs, DON'T FART, even if one doesn't feel any belly flopping whatsoever. oh lordie...
ARGH.
This morning was interesting. Cleo was at the vet all day (this is our 9 y/o choco lab which we adopted about a month and a alf ago) getting knocked out for a massive teeth cleaning; the funk stemming from lack of care prior to us. I couldn't find my keys for about 15 minutes and when i finally did, and was a block from there... welll... I had to turn around and go back home. yesh. I got the dog to the vet a half hour late. but they're cool, so no harm no foul.
So, diet food. This morning's astronaut pack was "chocolate pancake or muffin". It's not bad, but gives me a bit of a belly ache for a few minutes.
FYI, coffee is aloud. HALLELUJAH...just not the tasty creamers. booo.
My lunch pack was pina colada drink (good and no stomach ache!) and i had a nom-nom salad.... fresh frilly looking lettuce (sorry, i forgot the name), green beans, cut up sammich meat; sprinkled with s/p, steak seasoning, and salad seasoning and oil/vin,. i felt like i had had a steak. it was yummy..
Unfortunately once I saw my hubby's colby string cheese (skinny brick?) I got jealous and i wanted some cheese. later it was the big fat juicy green grapes (i had one! SHH!.. hell, it broke the craving). Somehow this all made me sad since i was apparently mourning the food. ohhhh, dear cheese how i miss you....
Yes, this diet is strict. I am quite aware. I know from experience of having dieted about 178,000 times in my short life that if i don't strictly follow it, it will dissipate in a few weeks, if that. One of whatever a week will turn into 2 which turns into every night.
Also, I wanted to slightly go into more depth about my first post.
1. I don't smoke anymore. i did for about a year and just ended up not doing it anymore slowly but surely. A good portion of that had to do with Mike, who doesn't smoke. Another portion was just not enjoying it anymore. I crave while out at bars drinking with other people.
2. I didn't and don't always drink due to depression and self medicating. I feel like I made it sounds that way. While that was very much a reason it increased on repeated occasions, A ton of it was out of habit or boredom and passing time. Also, i LOVE wine! I have drank a lot more of that in the recent months since it was discovered that I was apparently gluten intolerant. (don't have celiac disease, just gained weight, had belly aches, the shits, etc etc because of it). I have not drank huge drunk-inducing amounts in quite a while.
3. the weight gain is not all (though quite a bit of it is) because of eating and drinking habits. We did eat our fruits and veggies with all meals and we dont' do fast food. Nonetheless, I very much am aware that my eating habits, despite our veggie intake, was not perfect by any means and since I can apparelty gain weight from chewing gum, well... you know where I am now.
So, I was depressed for a while, then ate a fabulous dinner and am not any more. My blood sugar or whatever it is is so all over the damn place, i feel like i have the emotions of a 14 y/o emo kid.
I love my sweetie pie. he's so cuddly and loving. He tells me I'm beautiful every day. I have trouble agreeing, but if he didn't say it I would likely turn the lack of words into a nightmare in my head.
ANyway, last for the night: baked brussell sprouts and green beans. wonderful.
I had never cooked them before a week or so ago, and this is the third time we've had them (the sprouts).
Here's the easiness of it:
-oven 425 degrees
-cut the fresh sprouts into halves or quarters
-put on sheet/foil
-sprinkle wth olive oil, salt/pepper, and any and all seasonings. I love Mrs Dash seasonings... tonight was the mediterrainian one and the all purpose one. and lots of it. (by the way, sea salt, not regular salt)
-bake for 15 or 20 min. till they look cooked.
Good nite ya'll.
ARGH.
This morning was interesting. Cleo was at the vet all day (this is our 9 y/o choco lab which we adopted about a month and a alf ago) getting knocked out for a massive teeth cleaning; the funk stemming from lack of care prior to us. I couldn't find my keys for about 15 minutes and when i finally did, and was a block from there... welll... I had to turn around and go back home. yesh. I got the dog to the vet a half hour late. but they're cool, so no harm no foul.
So, diet food. This morning's astronaut pack was "chocolate pancake or muffin". It's not bad, but gives me a bit of a belly ache for a few minutes.
FYI, coffee is aloud. HALLELUJAH...just not the tasty creamers. booo.
My lunch pack was pina colada drink (good and no stomach ache!) and i had a nom-nom salad.... fresh frilly looking lettuce (sorry, i forgot the name), green beans, cut up sammich meat; sprinkled with s/p, steak seasoning, and salad seasoning and oil/vin,. i felt like i had had a steak. it was yummy..
Unfortunately once I saw my hubby's colby string cheese (skinny brick?) I got jealous and i wanted some cheese. later it was the big fat juicy green grapes (i had one! SHH!.. hell, it broke the craving). Somehow this all made me sad since i was apparently mourning the food. ohhhh, dear cheese how i miss you....
Yes, this diet is strict. I am quite aware. I know from experience of having dieted about 178,000 times in my short life that if i don't strictly follow it, it will dissipate in a few weeks, if that. One of whatever a week will turn into 2 which turns into every night.
Also, I wanted to slightly go into more depth about my first post.
1. I don't smoke anymore. i did for about a year and just ended up not doing it anymore slowly but surely. A good portion of that had to do with Mike, who doesn't smoke. Another portion was just not enjoying it anymore. I crave while out at bars drinking with other people.
2. I didn't and don't always drink due to depression and self medicating. I feel like I made it sounds that way. While that was very much a reason it increased on repeated occasions, A ton of it was out of habit or boredom and passing time. Also, i LOVE wine! I have drank a lot more of that in the recent months since it was discovered that I was apparently gluten intolerant. (don't have celiac disease, just gained weight, had belly aches, the shits, etc etc because of it). I have not drank huge drunk-inducing amounts in quite a while.
3. the weight gain is not all (though quite a bit of it is) because of eating and drinking habits. We did eat our fruits and veggies with all meals and we dont' do fast food. Nonetheless, I very much am aware that my eating habits, despite our veggie intake, was not perfect by any means and since I can apparelty gain weight from chewing gum, well... you know where I am now.
So, I was depressed for a while, then ate a fabulous dinner and am not any more. My blood sugar or whatever it is is so all over the damn place, i feel like i have the emotions of a 14 y/o emo kid.
I love my sweetie pie. he's so cuddly and loving. He tells me I'm beautiful every day. I have trouble agreeing, but if he didn't say it I would likely turn the lack of words into a nightmare in my head.
ANyway, last for the night: baked brussell sprouts and green beans. wonderful.
I had never cooked them before a week or so ago, and this is the third time we've had them (the sprouts).
Here's the easiness of it:
-oven 425 degrees
-cut the fresh sprouts into halves or quarters
-put on sheet/foil
-sprinkle wth olive oil, salt/pepper, and any and all seasonings. I love Mrs Dash seasonings... tonight was the mediterrainian one and the all purpose one. and lots of it. (by the way, sea salt, not regular salt)
-bake for 15 or 20 min. till they look cooked.
Good nite ya'll.
Monday, November 15, 2010
pictures of the curves
history of my thunder thighs
Helloooooo ladies and gents,
Today I was inspired to keep a journal/blog of my effort to lose 102 lbs. I started officially 5 days ago on the 10th of November. The diet is Ideal Protein, much like atkins or zone diet or the like, it's less carbs and more protein. They give you packets that look like astronaut food to eat for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. you eat an assload of veggies but no fruits (booo) and meat. that's about the extent of it. Needless to say, in the first few days I was not thrilled about the rabbit food and craved pizza and vino to the extend that it made me depressed. Yes, i was mourning my pizza and vino. oy.
The weekend had a couple of downfalls, one kinda due to having no choice, and the other because I apparently had the munchies like no other. Saturday night the hubby and I went to see the Transsiberian Orchestra in Seattle and had planned to stop for dinner, but traffic was horrid of course and we got to Key Arena right before it started. I was dizzy, bitchy, and tired, and needed some food. I snapped at my hubby when he said I was "cheating". I needed some food. grrrr. so, hot dog it was. (it was either that or deep fried dried out chicken strips and fries).
Other than minor downfalls, I haven't drank any vino or beer since Tuesday the 9th. That's pretty much a record compared to the last 5 years (with exception of being underway on a ship...which we had no choice). I was stationed in Sardenia (next door to Italia) for 3 years while in the Navy. That's where I met Mike, my hubby. H'e sstill in and about to transfer to a sub. I got out 14 months ago due to being sick of the crock of shit it is... obviously there's still a little bitterness lingering! Anyway, Italy is known for a few things: wine, pizza and pasta, the vatican/ colluseum/ and hot italian men.
Unfortunately there were not very many beautiful movie-esqe Italian men.
Most of them are petite/short and have mullett-mohawks. notttt so much my type, even at my lightest wgt which i hit while i was there - 155 or 160. The sites are amazing, but we're not going there every day. That leaves the essentials: the wine and food, which one much eat to survive right? and blend in with the environment? While i couldn't even fit into their clothes at my smallest, I made up for it in drinking and eating.
By the way, a ridiculous and horrible sounding food, but tastes FABULOUS, was the pizza americana. Yeah, they name it after us....cause it had french fries on it. . . . nice.
I started eating this pizza alot.
Let me explain that before i discovered the pizza and started drinking wine, i lost 15 or so lbs when i first moved out there. I wasn't working out. i suppose a little more walking and stairs but nothing intense. and i was eating the food. I lost wgt because their food is made differently, and is made locally. More healthy... to an extent.
Again, anyway, the point to babbling about Sardegna and Italia is because many of us brought it home with us. and then continued to pretend we were Italian. I learned to drink by hanging out with Submariners. and Italians. Now that's a combination. I slowly started hating the people I worked for and regretted going to be stationed there and started into being pretty damn depressed. I had little to no support system. I drank and ate to self medicate and it worked... and i grew a good tolerance to alcohol like a sailor. Also, somewhere in there I started smoking. Needless to say by the time the ship left to be stationed permanantly in WA I was somewhere around 190-200.
Mike and I had started dating during the 3 month trip over. We ended up moving in together once we got here, as we had planned before we ever even had our first kiss. He was the only one i trusted enough.
...and we drank and ate horribly. and I drank to forget the day at work which i despised. and continued that trend pretty much until I was discharged in the summer of 09. We went on a diet once because we had to maintain weight standards for the military, and i lost 15 or so lbs, but slowly it went back to bad eating and drinking up to 2 bottles of vino (myself) a night.
The weight issue and the military did not mix well, obviously, and was definintely an issue. I had to get rope-and-choked (taped and weighed) frequently. I had to do mandatory PT. It all good and dandy and obviously understandable that a blob shouldn't be on the "front lines", but it was humilitating on a constant basis. I was passed over for certain positions on more that one occasion. My rank promotion was held. The higher-ups in charge were damn lying idiots, and they pissed me off..... so more depression and anger, and more alcohol and food. My energy level was shit. I didn't care. etc.
I did have something to look forward to.... my Mikey had proposed! we had been planning our wedding and honeymoon for August, and that was about the only reason I didn't tackle the assholes and give people a piece of my mind on a daily basis.
I was finally done. :) and 220 lbs.
but not done eating and drinking!
In the year since that I have gained another 60ish lbs, which is quite a bit of weight.
So, bring in the doctors. oh lordie, that's a whole story in it's own.. eeeek
Somewhere in there, still battling depression/anxiety/ADD/fat/etc the docs said I am hormone deficient and neutropenic. The lack of hormones brought on progesterone and estrogen (is some of this due to the fat?). The neutropenia is basically just annoying and after a ton of tests, including a bone marrow biopsy, there's apparently no reason for it. (Neutrophils are part of the white blood cells, and a low count means you can't fight infection). It's a real pain in the ass having no diagnosis for something. ... or multiple things.
So, I worked with my hormone doc for a while, then was told to stop that stuff by another doctor, and when all my symptoms returned full blast (think menopause, but at 27) I went back to her and whined again. This appointment brought up the fact that none of the meds she put me on decreased my weight, and seriously i was sick of being a fat ass and thinking everyone that ever looks at me is disgusted by the way i look.
She brought up The Ideal Protein diet. I agreed to it before even reading the description (i do that alot unfortunately) when she told me so-and-so had lost 80 lbs in just a few months, so i got all the astronaut packs of powdered food and went on my merry way, hoping that i would do this diet for more than 2 days.
Fortunately Mike eats what I cook him for dinner. I'm a pretty good cook and, for the most part, can throw random shit together and make it taste good. He's had a couple of beers when i'm around and surprisingly i'm not locking him in the closet and chugging the alcohol. So far, an unfortunate side effect especially for a redhead, is that this has made me a big 'ol bitch at times. hopefully as my body gets used to the tyrade I'm putting it through that will decrease, for both of our sanities.
By the way, i weighed myself (sans clothes) this morning and it said 274. This may be because I was on a different scale and at the docs office i was clothed, but it gave me some hope.
Cheeeers!
Today I was inspired to keep a journal/blog of my effort to lose 102 lbs. I started officially 5 days ago on the 10th of November. The diet is Ideal Protein, much like atkins or zone diet or the like, it's less carbs and more protein. They give you packets that look like astronaut food to eat for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. you eat an assload of veggies but no fruits (booo) and meat. that's about the extent of it. Needless to say, in the first few days I was not thrilled about the rabbit food and craved pizza and vino to the extend that it made me depressed. Yes, i was mourning my pizza and vino. oy.
The weekend had a couple of downfalls, one kinda due to having no choice, and the other because I apparently had the munchies like no other. Saturday night the hubby and I went to see the Transsiberian Orchestra in Seattle and had planned to stop for dinner, but traffic was horrid of course and we got to Key Arena right before it started. I was dizzy, bitchy, and tired, and needed some food. I snapped at my hubby when he said I was "cheating". I needed some food. grrrr. so, hot dog it was. (it was either that or deep fried dried out chicken strips and fries).
Other than minor downfalls, I haven't drank any vino or beer since Tuesday the 9th. That's pretty much a record compared to the last 5 years (with exception of being underway on a ship...which we had no choice). I was stationed in Sardenia (next door to Italia) for 3 years while in the Navy. That's where I met Mike, my hubby. H'e sstill in and about to transfer to a sub. I got out 14 months ago due to being sick of the crock of shit it is... obviously there's still a little bitterness lingering! Anyway, Italy is known for a few things: wine, pizza and pasta, the vatican/ colluseum/ and hot italian men.
Unfortunately there were not very many beautiful movie-esqe Italian men.
Most of them are petite/short and have mullett-mohawks. notttt so much my type, even at my lightest wgt which i hit while i was there - 155 or 160. The sites are amazing, but we're not going there every day. That leaves the essentials: the wine and food, which one much eat to survive right? and blend in with the environment? While i couldn't even fit into their clothes at my smallest, I made up for it in drinking and eating.
By the way, a ridiculous and horrible sounding food, but tastes FABULOUS, was the pizza americana. Yeah, they name it after us....cause it had french fries on it. . . . nice.
I started eating this pizza alot.
Let me explain that before i discovered the pizza and started drinking wine, i lost 15 or so lbs when i first moved out there. I wasn't working out. i suppose a little more walking and stairs but nothing intense. and i was eating the food. I lost wgt because their food is made differently, and is made locally. More healthy... to an extent.
Again, anyway, the point to babbling about Sardegna and Italia is because many of us brought it home with us. and then continued to pretend we were Italian. I learned to drink by hanging out with Submariners. and Italians. Now that's a combination. I slowly started hating the people I worked for and regretted going to be stationed there and started into being pretty damn depressed. I had little to no support system. I drank and ate to self medicate and it worked... and i grew a good tolerance to alcohol like a sailor. Also, somewhere in there I started smoking. Needless to say by the time the ship left to be stationed permanantly in WA I was somewhere around 190-200.
Mike and I had started dating during the 3 month trip over. We ended up moving in together once we got here, as we had planned before we ever even had our first kiss. He was the only one i trusted enough.
...and we drank and ate horribly. and I drank to forget the day at work which i despised. and continued that trend pretty much until I was discharged in the summer of 09. We went on a diet once because we had to maintain weight standards for the military, and i lost 15 or so lbs, but slowly it went back to bad eating and drinking up to 2 bottles of vino (myself) a night.
The weight issue and the military did not mix well, obviously, and was definintely an issue. I had to get rope-and-choked (taped and weighed) frequently. I had to do mandatory PT. It all good and dandy and obviously understandable that a blob shouldn't be on the "front lines", but it was humilitating on a constant basis. I was passed over for certain positions on more that one occasion. My rank promotion was held. The higher-ups in charge were damn lying idiots, and they pissed me off..... so more depression and anger, and more alcohol and food. My energy level was shit. I didn't care. etc.
I did have something to look forward to.... my Mikey had proposed! we had been planning our wedding and honeymoon for August, and that was about the only reason I didn't tackle the assholes and give people a piece of my mind on a daily basis.
I was finally done. :) and 220 lbs.
but not done eating and drinking!
In the year since that I have gained another 60ish lbs, which is quite a bit of weight.
So, bring in the doctors. oh lordie, that's a whole story in it's own.. eeeek
Somewhere in there, still battling depression/anxiety/ADD/fat/etc the docs said I am hormone deficient and neutropenic. The lack of hormones brought on progesterone and estrogen (is some of this due to the fat?). The neutropenia is basically just annoying and after a ton of tests, including a bone marrow biopsy, there's apparently no reason for it. (Neutrophils are part of the white blood cells, and a low count means you can't fight infection). It's a real pain in the ass having no diagnosis for something. ... or multiple things.
So, I worked with my hormone doc for a while, then was told to stop that stuff by another doctor, and when all my symptoms returned full blast (think menopause, but at 27) I went back to her and whined again. This appointment brought up the fact that none of the meds she put me on decreased my weight, and seriously i was sick of being a fat ass and thinking everyone that ever looks at me is disgusted by the way i look.
She brought up The Ideal Protein diet. I agreed to it before even reading the description (i do that alot unfortunately) when she told me so-and-so had lost 80 lbs in just a few months, so i got all the astronaut packs of powdered food and went on my merry way, hoping that i would do this diet for more than 2 days.
Fortunately Mike eats what I cook him for dinner. I'm a pretty good cook and, for the most part, can throw random shit together and make it taste good. He's had a couple of beers when i'm around and surprisingly i'm not locking him in the closet and chugging the alcohol. So far, an unfortunate side effect especially for a redhead, is that this has made me a big 'ol bitch at times. hopefully as my body gets used to the tyrade I'm putting it through that will decrease, for both of our sanities.
By the way, i weighed myself (sans clothes) this morning and it said 274. This may be because I was on a different scale and at the docs office i was clothed, but it gave me some hope.
Cheeeers!
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